


Cock-A-Doodle-Do Me After the Hen Party

by SeverusSnep



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Bachelorette Party, F/M, Food Porn, Implied Relationships, Implied Sexual Content, Infidelity, Post-War, Sex Toys, Song: Pour Some Sugar on Me (Def Leppard), Stripping
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-06
Updated: 2020-09-06
Packaged: 2021-03-06 14:21:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,329
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26330296
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SeverusSnep/pseuds/SeverusSnep
Summary: Hermione is stuck in a loveless engagement, but is excited for her Hen Party, what she thinks is her last night as her own woman.
Relationships: Hermione Granger/Ron Weasley, Hermione Granger/Severus Snape
Comments: 12
Kudos: 55





	Cock-A-Doodle-Do Me After the Hen Party

**Author's Note:**

  * For [LunaP999](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LunaP999/gifts), [turtle_wexler](https://archiveofourown.org/users/turtle_wexler/gifts), [moonstone281](https://archiveofourown.org/users/moonstone281/gifts).



> I want to give an extra special thank you to the people who inspired this: Luna, Moon, and Turtle. I hope you like it!! :)

So the idea is you only get married once, right? Well, what happens if you don’t even want to get married to your betrothed? You’re about to find out. Let’s set the scene.

Hermione Granger has recently been engaged to one Ronald Bilius Weasley, the problem was that of course he had to propose in front of his entire family… at dinner. What was she supposed to say? No? And get thrown out with the rubbish? Well she didn’t have much of a choice did she? She loved the Weasley’s so very much. She just wasn’t _in love_ with Ron. Yet it had been fated by the Weasley matriarch that Hermione would get married to her youngest son, and she wouldn’t hear otherwise. Hermione had begun to resign herself to a wretched life of children and housework, a thought that made her feel sick, but she did not know what was yet in store for her.

It was a Friday night like any other, only this was was going to be special. Hermione had been looking forward to her Hen Do for months. It was her last hope at feeling like her own woman. She wanted to let loose a little, and have fun with her closest friends. Ginny and Luna had insisted upon taking the reins for the night’s activities, so she felt as though she was in good hands. Ginny would want to go all out and do something crazy, and oddly enough Luna would be a little voice of reason that kept Ginny within the budget.

Hermione made her way back to her flat where Ginny and Luna said they’d have everything set up for the night. She couldn’t help but let her mind race over the possibilities. She wondered what music they would have…or what food… or what color the decorations would be? Would they go for a Gryffindor red, or would they pick out some other sort of lurid color with which to dash her place? The excitement was building within her, and she found herself positively giddy. She could hardly keep her hands steady as she took out her key to unlock her door.

She pushed the door open and was met with an explosion of multi-colored confetti and cheers from inside her flat. She closed the door behind her and jumped around with the other women who were congratulating and cheering at her. She had invited two other women from work with whom she was close: Naomi and Phoebe. Ginny showed her around to see all the activities they’d set up. They were going to paint, play a fairly tame drinking game, and watch a racy film together.

There were hot pink and red streamers strung about, pink and white balloons all over the floor, bowls of crisps and fruit and candy on her table, confetti splattered around the entrance to the flat, and a group of hysterically laughing women attempting to paint the assortment of sex toys that Ginny had displayed on a table in the middle of the sitting room. The sofa had been pushed back to the wall and they each had an easel set up in front of them and were provided with paints. The rule was: whoever’s painting looked the best (in the time allotted) would get first choice from the table and so on. At the timer ticked away, they soon forgot about the competition and were giggling away about what each of them wanted from the table, occasionally getting up grab a handful of snacks from one of the bowls.

Hermione was enjoying herself immensely, and couldn’t bring herself to admit to the others that at least she’d walk away from this night with _something_ to satisfy herself in her marriage. She was determined to paint the best picture, and she had her sights set on the big purple one in the middle. Before they all knew it, the timer went off and they were sent into fits of laughter once they turned their easels around for everyone to see. They all agreed that Hermione’s was the most realistic, and she didn’t care whether they were letting her have first pick because it was her Hen Party or not. She wanted the purple one and she was going to get it. She bounced up out of her seat and grabbed it swiftly off the table. Cheers were let out from around the room to announce her victory. Luna was second, and darted for the blue suction featured one. Phoebe was next and took her time deciding between the pink wand or the yellow bullet. She settled on the wand. Ginny and Naomi went at the same time, agreeing that they would compromise should they want the same one. Naomi had wanted the glittery red one that curved deliciously, which was fine with Ginny because she had her eyes the yellow bullet from the beginning. 

Ginny then regaled them with an extensive review of her own personal collection of toys, winning her plenty of laughs and a few playfully jealous looks. Luna brought out the wine at the perfect time. They decided to start the film and established two rules for the game: anyone who laughed had to take a sip and everyone had to take a sip any time one of the characters said the word “sexy”. They were two-thirds into the film and a bit tipsy when they heard a knock on the door.

“Oh dear, the noise do you think?” Hermione giggled, cheeks filled with a wine flush.

“I’ll get it,” Luna winked.

She opened the door for none other than Severus Snape. Hermione’s jaw dropped, and her flush deepened.

“I heard there were some students up after curfew,” he remarked smoothly.

They all giggled. Hermione looked at Ginny and mouthed a ‘did you do this?’ to which Ginny nodded enthusiastically. Hermione might have let it slip to Ginny a few years prior that she found Professor Snape to be quite attractive. They may have also discussed it a few times since their graduation, especially after Hermione and Snape had kept in touch and met somewhat regularly. 

Hermione’s eyes became glued to him as he strolled in front of them. She watched as he summoned and undid a shrinking spell on a big Muggle boom box.

“I’m here to hand out your detentions,” he drawled in that voice that made Hermione’s knickers melt. 

“What did we do, Professor?” Luna asked teasingly. Hermione had never heard her talk like that before and couldn't hold back her own giggle.

“You’ve all been rather… naughty,” this sparked more giggles and blushes from the group of women,”and you’re all having a private detention with me for being… too…damn…sexy!” As he spoke, he had handed Luna a CD which she popped into the boom box. At his last word, Luna had been standing behind him when she ripped off his robes, leaving him in a tie, black braces, and his usual black trousers. Hermione didn’t know when his shoes came off, but she didn’t care. This paled in comparison to all the times she’d fantasized about him. Her eyes laved him in a lustful look, washing over every pale curve, every scar, every defined muscle. Everything about him seemed to turn her on more.

“Now you just remember,” he wagged a finger at them and Hermione heard everyone’s breath hitch, “you can look but you can’t touch.” He didn’t give them a chance to finish whining amongst themselves before he pressed a button on the boom box. Pour Some Sugar On Me by Def Leppard started playing. They all cheered as he started to move to the music. He spoke again after the initial lyrics had passed and before the singing started,

“But I see a lot of rule breakers here tonight considering you’re all in detention,” he admitted in that silky voice.

There were more cheers for that, and all eyes were on him as the music played. He slowly undid the tie and it was tossed in Hermione’s direction. She grabbed it quickly and held it to her chest, eyes wide but smile even wider. His ample gaze in her direction kept the bright blush on her cheeks. The braces were slid off his shoulders which was rewarded with giggling and catcall whistling. They were taking a bottle and shaking it up as he slid down his trousers. Hermione’s eyes were no longer glued to his. They were breaking the bubble, breaking it up as his trousers went flying into the air, excitedly being caught by one of the women.

A beautiful pop of glittering emerald green confetti showered him as he danced through the chorus and started to move around closer to them. He was hot, sticky sweet from his head to his feet as he approached Hermione who was still clutching his tie. She extended a hand toward him, having no idea what she was doing. He gladly took it and kissed it before continuing his dance across the room for the other women who were very much appreciative of his attentions. 

He was loosening up as he ended back up in front of Hermione who was so very tempted to squeeze a little. He stepped forward and made it easier, teasing her a little more. She let her hand rake down his torso and over his green boxer shorts where there was something definitely much larger than the big purple toy she had picked out earlier. He seemed to be taking much pleasure in all of their reactions, even owning his own slight pink tint that settled on his cheeks. 

Hermione wasn’t sure how much more she could take, he was so hot. Everyone seemed to be in agreement about that. She was surprised that Ginny and Luna had set this up, or that he even agreed!

Luna handed him something and he once again made his way over to Hermione during the instrumental. There was no denying the once-over he gave her body as everyone was hearing about how she had the peaches, and he made a quick stripe of whipped cream down his torso in perfect rhythm with the words. He seemed to be offering himself to her and she took the opportunity, not wanting to think about it too much. She made a thorough lick all the way up his torso, and he certainly was sweet to taste, one might even say… saccharine. She was stunned at her own bravery and she replayed the moment over and over in her head of the taste of the sweet cream over his firm muscles. There wasn’t much time before he leaned closer to whisper in her ear,

“Do you take sugar?” His velvety voice asked, practically dripping with honey.

She nodded her head fervently. She didn’t know what was coming, but she knew she wanted it. He leaned in again to purr,

“One lump or two?”

She quickly held up two fingers, wanting something, anything. He quickly kissed her once on each cheek because gently grabbing her hand and pulling her up to dance with him. The room exploded in cheers and whistles. Balloons and streamers were being friskily tossed at them. She took the opportunity to press herself against him, wanting as much of him as possible. He wrapped his arms around her as they swayed to the beat. The next thing she knew, another pop came from above them and that pretty green glitter was raining down on them, forming a temporary canopy. She looked up at him with heavy eyes,

“Snape,” she breathed. She couldn’t believe she got to see him like this. All they ever did was have chaste conversations at his house about potions or other subjects. He leaned in to close the space between them. She pressed herself into his kiss as much as she could. It couldn’t last long, the glitter was slowly falling around them. She only just realized something was pressing into her stomach when they started to pull apart. He leaned in toward her to whisper one last time,

“I can’t get enough of you, and Miss Lovegood seems to think you want out of your arrangement so you’re more than welcome to come back to my place and sugar _me_. That is, if you want to cock-a-doodle-do me after your Hen Party… Hermione.” He kissed her cheek one more time as the music faded out, the boom box shrunk, and he quickly charmed his clothes back on, “but I’ll let you get back to your film… for now.” He gave her a quick smile and a wave thanks to the rest of the women (who were still smiling and gushing over him) before exiting her flat. 

“Oh!” She announced to them, “I’ve got to go tip him,” hoping that would sound believable.

They just giggled and gathered around each other to talk about how hot that had been. 

“Snape!” She called out.

He turned around and she ran to him, wrapping her arms around him and whispering.“What time should I be over?”

“And what about your fiancé?” He questioned.

She held up her hand. No ring. He smiled.

“Take your time. Go have fun with your friends. If you’re not passed out by the time they leave, I’ll still be up and you can come if you’d like. I’d be perfectly happy to take you to breakfast either way,” he offered.

“Okay, I’ll be over as soon as I can,” she promised, and kissed his cheek one more time.

Maybe she wouldn’t be stuck in a wretched life of children and housework. Maybe she wouldn’t need the big purple toy after all. She knew Snape would be there for her and she’d figure a way out of the sham of an engagement she was currently in. At any rate, Hermione knew what she wanted for her birthday, and it had very much to do with sugar ;)


End file.
